Never Forget
by Dellruby
Summary: They always say it's a small world, but what happens when you're in a whole other galaxy. Is John's past about to catch up with him? Posted in Chapters, but the story has been completed. I don't own the core cast or the city, but there are a whole squad of pilots that are all mine! I want to thank MSusy for being a wonderful Beta, but, boy did I make her work for her glory! ;)
1. Chapter 1

Never Forget

Chapter 1

It had been an interesting two weeks since Captain Tina Rogers had arrived on Atlantis. The Daedalus had dropped out of hyper space in the middle of a heated battle between two Wraith Hive ships, a hand full of cruisers, and the city. She saw her first action almost as soon as they arrived.

One hive had been blown up right after they got there, the second, after Hermiod had made a site to site transfer of a nuclear war head inside the Hive. Still she had had the chance to get up close and personal with the wraith darts before the rest of the invading fleet had turned tail and fled, leaving the last of the darts to make a mass suicide run at the city. Just as well Dr McKay was as smart and the stories made him out to be, he got the shields up just in time!

There had been no time to search out old friends in the next few days either, with 12 other hive ships headed their way! Again, Dr McKay and some others came up with a brilliant plan to make it appear that the city had used its self-destruct, and then to cloak it. With the city gone, as far as the wraith could see, there was no reason for them to stay, so they left.

Now there appeared to be a little peace and quiet. The Daedalus had left on its return journey back to Earth, and by all accounts most of the senior staff would be following, taking the trip through the Stargate soon as well. That was one of the reasons why Tina and 18 other pilots and their specialized F302 fighters had stayed when the Daedalus left. It had always been the plan, but still, when she had stood with Major Lorne and the other pilots to watch the Earth ship lift off and vanish into the heavens, she had felt a loss she hadn't expected.

"Alright," Major Lorne called to the assembled pilots. "You all know your rosters. You lend a hand anywhere on the base you are needed, but remember if the call to scramble comes, you are **all** on duty. Bearing that in mind, enjoy your evening off, and I will expect the first shift on deck in the mess hall for duty assignments at 0700. Dismissed."

This was the first time since she had arrived at the Atlantis base that she had nothing to do.

"Ok" she thought to herself, "big deep breath, time to go say Hi."

This was something she had both been looking forward to and dreading ever since she had found out she was going to be stationed here. She hadn't seen him in what, had to be four? No, five years. When they had parted that last time they had been on very good terms, but he had been posted overseas, and she had stayed firmly in the US. She hadn't seen him since, except for a glimpse of his tousled hair just before he shipped out through the Stargate in the first contingent to Atlantis. She had been on her way to say Hi, when she had been called to duty by General O'Neill himself. It seemed there had been a small band of enemy craft tickling the edges of US airspace that needed to be seen on their way. She had been so close, only about 6 to 8 feet away, but it might as well have been 200 miles.

She wasn't at all sure where he might be at this time of day, but since she was hungry, the Mess Hall sounded like a good place to start.

"Going to grab something to eat?" asked First Lieutenant Bradly Lewis as he fell into step beside her.

"Looks that way." She answered good naturedly. She and Lewis had been friends since they met in basic a little over 6 years ago. She edged him out in rank now, mainly she thought because she had made a good first impression on General O'Neill. She had put his name forward for the mission when she had been asked if she knew any other pilots as good as she was. She knew a few, but not many she wanted to be trapped in another galaxy with. Lewis was a year younger than Tina was, and she thought of him as a kid brother, annoying at times, but loveable all the same.

They chatted about everything and nothing as they walked to the mess hall, he was very interested in the architecture, if he hadn't been an Air Force pilot, she was sure he would have been happy in a small office in some town, designing buildings.

For herself, it had been flying or nothing, she had no other dreams growing up. It was the freedom that drew her, to be able to lift off and fly away, leaving all the dirt, poverty and yelling behind, had been her fondest wish. She hadn't looked back once, never went back home, there was nothing for her there, a drunken father, and a mother who blamed her for everything that had gone wrong in her life. It had nothing to do with the man who beat her, no it was the baby who needed her that was the root of all her problems.

The Mess Hall was full at this time of the early evening, with people grabbing a meal before they had to report for night duty, and a few lucky souls who had got off day duty early. A quick scan showed that the person of interest was not there, as well as showing that there were very few seats to be had. They ended up sitting at a table filled with Lab techs. If she had tried, Tina could probably have kept up with their conversation, but she had too much on her mind, wondering how he would react when he saw her. She knew he was here, but there was no reason for him to really know she was. She thought about asking if anyone knew where he was, but she discarded the idea as quickly as she had it.

Lewis wanted to wander round the halls "just to see what's there" he said, but Tina was on a mission and needed to get on with it, for her own peace of mind, if nothing else. So they parted company at the door. She decided to go to the Gateroom, the hub of the central tower and probably the best place to start looking. If nothing else she would see arguably the most important room in the whole of the Atlantis Base, well besides the Hangar Bay, she corrected herself.

She found herself standing on a balcony overlooking the main floor. This room was always busy it seemed. There were at least 3 technicians and 2 armed guards on at any one time, and Dr Weir's office was just off to the side of the room. She leaned her arms against the railing and fixed her gaze on the Stargate. She had seen them before of course, having been a backup member of an SG team on earth. It didn't matter where they were going, they always needed to take along someone who knew how to handle a gun. Although Tina was no Sharp shooter, she could hit any target 9 times out of 10.

Voices started to intrude on her musings.

"It's not that I don't trust her, of course I do, she's Teyla, but she isn't even from Earth"

"Rodney what are you trying so hard not to say here?"

"There is any number of people who could be left in charge of the base, but Elizabeth chose Teyla."

"She was the leader of her people, she is well qualified for the job, and it's not like its forever, we will only be gone, what? A month?"

"Give or take."

"So what, you want to stay behind and take on the job yourself?"

"I've heard worse ideas."

"Ok, lets' put this another way…..you want to leave the choosing of your science personnel to who?"

"Alright, I know I have to go, I was just saying!"

The voices were drawing closer, and the butterflies started in the pit of Tina's stomach as she watch the two men climb the stairs towards the balcony. Dr Rodney McKay looked nothing like she had imagined, nothing like Dr Daniel Jackson at all. Amazing how knowing one Scientist coloured how you thought all the others should look. The other man however, looked very much as she remembered him, maybe a little older around the eyes, but seeing real action will do that to people. The grey uniform looked good on him, mind you she had thought the same about the desert sand coloured uniform she had last seen him in. As they drew closer to the top of the stairs Tina stood up right and to attention, she was after all about to address the Military Commander of the Atlantis Base. Dr McKay saw her first as they turned towards her at the top of the stairs.

"Oh, didn't see you there, um, Lieutenant?"

"Captain Sir, Captain Rogers."

Major John Sheppard had seen her a couple of seconds after Dr McKay. She had seen surprise on his face before he had a chance to control his reaction.

"Dr Rodney McKay." The man went to put out his hand to shake, but Tina had already snapped him a salute.

"Sir!" she said, then turned her eyes to the other man, "Major!"

The Major saluted back then said, "We don't stand too much on ceremony round here, you don't have to salute everyone all the time."

"Sorry Sir." She said, wondering what to say next.

"Well nice to meet you Captain Roberts," said McKay.

"Rogers." Tina corrected him at the same time as Major Sheppard did.

"Oh right, Rogers, well I will leave you two military types to whatever it is you do now. I'm off to the Mess. I'm dreaming of Salisbury steak and blue Jell-O. I'll catch up with you later John." And off he went.

There was a moment of silence, then John spoke.

"Tina, when did you get here? No don't answer that, you came on the Daedalus. You are one of our new fighter squadron?"

"Yes….Sir," she said hesitantly.

"Don't Sir me please," he said quickly looking around. "Walk with me?"

"Anywhere!" she answered.

He smiled and said "You look…..good, I mean really good! When did you join the Stargate program?"

"Two years ago, General O'Neill went on a recruiting drive."

"Huh, I only joined just before coming out here. So you were at Stargate Command? I thought I saw someone that looked like you when we were all in the Gateroom."

"You did, I was coming to say hi, but got called away at the last moment. I saw your messy hair sticking up above the crowd." She laughed and had to fight the urge to reach out and ruffle that same hair.

"I only saw the back of your head as you walked away. I spent many a night dreaming you had turned around and seen me." He had stopped walking and reached out placing his hand on her arm. "You're a sight for sore eyes."

She smiled, it felt like they had never been apart, it was easy, comfortable.

"You knew I was here, but it took you almost 2 full weeks to come and say hi?"

"You were busy, hell we were all busy! This is the first free time I've had since setting foot on the planet."

"Yeah of course it is. I'm gating back to Earth the day after tomorrow."

"Yes I heard, my fellow pilots and I will be the first line of defence while you're gone."

"I'll be gone a month or so." he said.

"I won't be going anywhere John, not like I'm going to leave town as soon as your back is turned."

"No, sorry, it's just, I don't know…..it's so good to see you." He looked up and down the corridor, then slipping his hand down from her elbow to her hand, turned and walked down and around a corner and into a room a couple of feet further down. The lights came on as they entered, and he had a quick look around before running his hand over the door control closing it. Then he stood and looked Tina in the eyes for a moment or two. The hand that wasn't holding hers came up and gently stroked her cheek. She leaned into it and drew a deep breath. She could smell his slightly spicy aroma of his soap and shampoo. She closed her eyes and just enjoyed being this close to the man who had filled her dreams ever since he boarded the transport plane and flew out of her life five years before. She felt his lips lightly brush hers, and her heart skipped a beat. Almost as soon as she felt them they were gone. She opened her eyes and looked straight into his. She had always loved the colour of his eye, so green at times, like now, and hazel at others. He slid his arm around her waist, freeing up her hand so she could put it around him, then he cupped her head with his other hand tilting it back as he bought his lips down on hers again, not soft this time, but full of the longing of years. She felt herself melting into him, giving herself over completely to his desires.

She heard the crackling of a radio, but it sounded faint, far away. He groaned and drew away from her lips, but still held her against him. With his left hand he reached up and activated the ear piece he was wearing.

"Sheppard," he said. She couldn't hear what was being said, but felt the change in him as he went from lover to officer.

"Alright, I'll be right there." He took a step back, but didn't let her out of his arms entirely. "I have to go, duty calls, can I see you tomorrow?"

"I'm on duty at 0700, won't know what I'm doing until Major Lorne hands out the assignments."

"Hmm" he said, "I'll see you tomorrow then." He leaned in and gave her another quick kiss, then he released her and was out the door and off to whatever it was he had been called away too.

Tina stood on her own for a little while, unwilling to move and break the spell he had left her under. She had hardly dared hope that the same spark would be there now. Finally she shook her head as if to clear it, and left the empty room. She took a moment to get her bearings, then she headed off in what she hoped was the direction of her quarters.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter2

The next morning, Tina was already sitting at the table having eaten her breakfast, when Major Lorne arrived with Major Sheppard.

"Morning all," Major Lorne said. "This is Major Sheppard. You will have heard of him, he is our C.O. on the base…Sir," he said indicating for him to talk.

"I wanted to welcome you all to the Pegasus Galaxy, and the Atlantis Base. You will have worked out already that this is no cushy number, we have an enemy here the like you have never seen before, as well as a whole galaxy to explore. I can guarantee you won't be sitting around idle much of the time."

There was a smattering of nervous chuckles from a number of the pilots.

"Ok here are your duties." Major Lorne read out the list assigning a name to each.

"Captain Rogers, you will be shadowing the major here, as second in command of the squadron we need you to know all there is to know about the ins and outs of the base, and I'm afraid you will probably end up with a fair chunk of the paper work too." Tina hadn't expected that, to be made Major Lorne's 2nd. She looked over at Captain Campbell to see if he was upset about her being given the position over him, by rights he was slightly ahead of her in the chain of command. He smiled at her and mouthed the words 'paperwork'. No, he seemed fine with it.

"Ok, you have 5 minutes to get to where you have to be. Move out."

Tina stood and picked up her empty try and put it over in the collection bay, then went back to stand in front of the 2 majors. She smiled and said,

"Ready to go Sir's."

"Ok, let's go introduce you to the main players shall we?" Sheppard said. He nodded to Lorne, "Major."

"Major." Lorne answered as Sheppard and Rogers moved away.

"Isn't Major Lorne coming with us?"

"No, he has other fish to fry, I get you all to myself." He flashed her a smile.

Tina spent a very pleasant day following John around the base, meeting all the top personnel and getting the run down on how everything worked. It was all very professional. Neither of them did or said anything that might lead people to suspect they were any more than two military personnel at work. Then at the end of the day when she was about to take her leave of him and go off duty, he leaned a little closer to her ear and said,

"I have some duties to do for a while yet, but can I come to your quarters when I'm done?"

"I'd like that," she answered.

"It will be sometime after 2200 hours." Then he left. Tina went and joined the rest of the day shift for dinner in the mess hall. They sat around and talked for a bit afterwards, everyone had a story someone had told them, some fantastic tale about the Wraith, which prompted Tina to think about having a briefing about what the facts of these creatures actually were, with any luck, before anyone had to meet one face to face. She would talk to Major Lorne about it in the morning.

About 2100 hours she made her excuses and left them to it. They had started a poker game and she had no wish to lose her pay. Her quarters weren't large, room enough for a bed, a set of draws and a small table with 2 chairs, which were over in front of the room's only window. The view showed part of the city, and further out the sea. She hadn't had much of a chance to take it in yet, but noted the city lights looked very pretty. On the wall opposite her bed was the door to the bathroom, which was small but functional, and contained all the usual things you would expect. She hadn't bothered to unpack much yet. Her duffel was half empty leaning against the set of draws, and there was a box sitting on the table. It was all she had been allowed to bring. Now was as good a time as any, and unpacking would keep her busy while she waited.

By the time the door chime went, the duffel was empty, folded and put away, and there were only a few things left in the bottom of the box. She smoothed down her black regulation t-shirt and went to open the door. John entered and all of a sudden the room seemed so much smaller, his presents over whelmed her. With the door closed and locked behind him, he moved over to Tina and slipped his arms around her waist.

"You have no idea how hard it was not to reach out and touch you today!"

She leaned into his embrace.

"I may have some idea I think."

He stood almost 5 inches taller than her, and she had to rise up on her toes to reach his lips.

"You're not on duty now, we can let this down," he said reaching for the band that held her straight, brown hair in a tight ponytail. He ran his fingers through it and let it fall. It wasn't what she would call long, but it hung to just below her shoulders.

"It is longer than it was," he noted as he played with the strands.

"It needs a cut," she responded.

"Don't you dare!" He leaned down to kiss the side of her neck. She drew in a breath as his lips sent shivers down her back, every nerve ending seemed to be on fire. She reached up with her left hand and ran her fingers through his hair, it was so soft, more so than it looked. He didn't use gels or anything to get his messy do, it was all god given, he couldn't make it sit down if he tried.

"You smell so good," he murmured into her neck and hair.

"So do you."

"Thanks, I try," he chuckled.

He walked her backwards until her legs were against the bed, then he lowered he onto it, and lay down beside her, letting his hands explore under her t-shirt.

"Boots!" she said.

"Boots?" he asked.

"I'm not letting you into my bed with your boots on," she chuckled.

"Right, boots." He sat up and kicked his boots off, and whipped his socks off at the same time.

"Better?"

"Much." He went back to exploring, then went to roll on top of her.

"Ah crap," he said.

"Gun belt?" She asked with a smile.

"Gone!" he said as he deftly undid the buckles and dropped it on the floor.

"Anything else?" she asked He stopped for a moment.

"Radio!" he said popping it out of his ear and placing it on the draws beside the bed.

"T-shirt!" he said as he lifted it off over her head. Then he sank down on top of her to reacquaint himself with her soft olivey skin. Soon the rest of her clothes were in a pile beside his on the floor. They moved together the way a couple does when they know just what it is the other likes, their bodies coming together in perfect unison. Then they lay in each other's arms enjoying the closeness .

"I don't know how I went for so long without this, without you," he said.

"I know what you mean," she answered and punctuated it with a kiss on his chest.

"We can't," his voice trailed off.

"I know," she said. "No one can know, fraternization and all that."

"I'm sorry," he murmured and kissed the top of her head.

"I know that too."

"And to top it off, I'm going to have to go soon too."

"You'll be back," she said with a smile.

"Count on it," he said as he leaned over and kissed her deeply. An hour later he slipped from her bed and dressed quietly. He saw a small note pad on the table and wrote a short note and put it on the bed side table for Tina to find in the morning, then left without waking her.

- - Missing you already


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The next month passed by relatively quietly. It turned out that there was quite a bit of paperwork that came with the position of Major Lorne's 2nd, but then he was acting Military commander of the base while John was back on Earth, although Tina had serious doubts of him doing much of the paperwork even when he was relieved of that duty.

She had managed to set up a briefing for herself and the other pilots, where they were given the facts, as they were known, of the Wraith, which was both good and bad. It turned out they didn't suck blood as one pilot had reported, but the good news was short lived when they discovered the reality was worse; they could drain you of your whole life force!

Oh, and they were super strong and hard to kill. It was just getting better and better.

Tina had taken over the role of reading out the list of duties each morning, and a second list to those who pulled the night shift. Only after that was she allowed to go off duty. There was one other job she discovered came with the new position. It was that if there was a problem during the night, she was the first person they contacted. It was then up to her to either sort it, or make the decision to involve more senior staff, and if you were going to involve them, the problem had darn well better be a big one!

Not a single wraith ship came to look for them over that month, but they kept the fighters prepped and ready to go at a moment's notice. They had all been tested for the ATA gene, and there were 3 who turned out to have it, not Tina though, which suited her just fine. As soon as it was discovered you had the gene you got trained up to do all sorts of things. Bradley had it, and he had been learning to fly the strange flat nosed space craft they called puddle jumpers, as well as how to operate "The Chair", which by all accounts could do everything from shooting down enemy space craft, to flying the city itself! He had complained to Tina that even when he had time off, he didn't get time off.

As the month drew to a close Tina began to get excited, soon John would be back, soon she would see him, get to hold him. Over the 5 years they had been apart she had managed to convince herself that she didn't care, that she could live quite happily without him in her life. But the 1 ½ days she had spent with him on Atlantis had proved otherwise. She was pleased her workload was so large, it meant her time was filled, which made the waiting just that little bit easier. Mind you, it was not as if she could just run into his open arms as he stepped off the ship. In the eyes of the military, there could be no relationship, he was her commanding officer, what they had, had to be kept secret.

As it turned out, the day they finally arrived Tina wasn't in the gateroom when the senior staff were beamed down from the Daedalus, she was out on the end of the East Pier inspecting the damage caused by a drone that had gone rouge when one Second Lieutenant Billy Morgan had lost control of it during a training session in the chair.

"I told them it wasn't a good idea, I know they say I have the gene, but I can't hardly make the darn thing work."

"I wouldn't worry Billy, they are not likely to ask you to try again."

"I can fly the puddle jumpers just fine, you don't control that only with your mind, in fact once it is turned on even you could fly it Captain."

"That's fine Billy, even little old me ehh?"

"Sorry Ma'am, I didn't mean no disrespect."

"It's alright Billy, how about you just go ahead report this mess to Dr. Zelenka and tell him that from now on you are to be the last person on the list for Chair duty."

"Yes Ma'am, thank you ma'am." She didn't need to turn round to know he was saluting her. She smiled, old habits die hard. She turned and returned his salute so he could leave. Really it didn't look bad from the outside, only grazed the edge. It would need a little work to make it water tight again, but when all was said and done, it could have been much worse.

"Captain Rogers report to Dr. Weir's office," her ear piece crackled into life. She activated it from her end.

"On my way, Rogers out." This needed to be reported anyway, no time like the present.

She paused outside the office door to knock, but was called in by Dr. Weir before she could do more that lift her hand. Inside were Major Lorne, Teyla, Dr. McKay and John.

"Captain Rogers," Dr. Weir spoke to her. "I have been hearing good things about you from both Teyla and Major Lorne. You took on a great deal of responsibility for someone of your rank, and preformed those duties as well as any one of us could have hoped."

"Thank you Dr Weir, I enjoyed the challenge."

"Now that Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard and I have returned, you will be pleased to know your work load will be lightened."

Lieutenant Colonel? John had been promoted, Tina was pleased for him, but realized that the gulf between their ranks would make any relationship between them even more difficult, and the repercussions if they were caught just that much more direr.

"Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard, congratulations," she said.

"Thank you Captain Rogers," he replied formally.

"We are going to give Dr. Weir, and Colonel Sheppard a full briefing of what has happened during their time on Earth," Teyla told her. "We are leaving the care of the city in your hands for the next two hours or so, do you think you can handle everything?"

"Yes Ma'am, but there is something I feel I must report to you now."

"What is it?" Dr Weir asked.

"One of the new pilots, who has the ATA gene….he had a mishap with a drone this morning, and there is some damage out at the end of the East Pier."

"How bad?" asked Sheppard.

"It doesn't look bad from above, but it's not water tight anymore. I haven't had a chance to check it from the inside Sir."

"Ok, send a team of engineers to check it out, and see what can be done. You can give me a full report when our briefing is over," John said.

"Yes sir, right away."

"Dismissed." She saluted both John and Major Lorne, and left the room.

So she would be relieved of many of her duties huh? That felt like a demotion, but she had one last hurrah, she was in charge of the city for a couple of hours.

"Sweet," she said to herself. "Party at the end of the East Pier."

"Sorry?" Chuck, one of the gateroom technicians asked her.

"I need an engineering team to the end of the East Pier, there is some damage that needs looked at. Also Doctors Weir, and McKay, Col Sheppard and Major Lorne, as well as Teyla are in a briefing for the next couple of hours, so if there is anything that needs attention, it is to come to me, understood?"

"Understood Captain, the buck stops with you," Chuck smiled.

"Two hours, how much can go wrong in that time?" she smiled back at him and mumbled,

"Knock on wood," as she turned away. Calling back over her shoulder, "Have that team meet me there ASAP."

"Will do."

The damage on the inside looked much worse than it had from above. Not only could she see large chunks of sky, a mass of circuits had been blown, and there were sparks raining down.

_This doesn't look too good , _shewas thinking when she heard footsteps behind her. She turned and saw three men carrying cases of equipment approaching.

"What happened here? One of them asked.

"A drone happened, how long do you think it will take to fix?"

"Hard to tell until we get in there and see what is going on," he nodded towards the mass of sparking circuits. "We are going to need to cut the power to that lot for a start."

"Ok, can I leave you to it?" she asked.

"We will be fine," he said.

Before she had gone 2 steps back down the corridor she could hear him on the radio to Dr. Zelenka.

Tina glanced at her watch as she was walking down the hall, almost 1400 hours, she had missed her lunch break again. She decided to swing by the mess and grab a sandwich and coffee to go. She had just reached the door when she got a call.

"Captain Rogers, we have a problem at the East Pier."

"On my way." _So much for lunch_ she thought to herself. As she drew close to the area she started to hear panicked voices, and picked up her pace. Then she started to smell smoke, and saw flames as she rounded the corner.

"What the hell happened?" She called to the tech she could see.

"There is an electrical fire in the walls."

"Has the power been cut?"

"We never had a chance to do it." She reached up to her ear piece and taped it into life.

"Rogers to Zelenka, we have an electrical fire down here, can you isolate the circuits and kill the power?"

"On it," came the reply.

"Is there anything like fire extinguishers around here?" she asked.

"There are suppression units built into the circuitry," came Zelenka's voice. "Activating now."

The smoke was becoming very thick.

"Where are the other two techs?" she asked the man in front of her. He looked round.

"I don't know." Tapping the radio again she said,

"Chuck, can you send a medical team to the pier please, and some marines to help, we have a fire down here."

"Will do," he replied.

"Ok, you get back from this smoke, I'm going to see if I can find the other two." He nodded and coughed as he staggered down the hall a bit. Tina put her arm up over her nose and plunged into the smoke. She had only gone a few steps when she kicked something soft and almost fell over. She reached down and located an arm, and dragged the man out of the smoke. When she had him clear, the first technician came and took over dragging him down the hall to the corner. Tina went back in. She could see nothing. She tried calling but the smoke chocked the words off. Getting down on her hands and knees, she used her hands to search for the last of the three man team. After what seemed like forever, she felt his legs. Knowing that time was short she grabbed them and started to drag him out. She became aware of other voices, most she couldn't pick, but Dr. Carson Beckett's voice was easy.

"Where is Captain Rogers?" she heard him yell. She didn't hear the reply.

"Ye are jokin' me! Ye let her go in there? Oh thank god yer here, Captain Rogers an' how many? One? Captain Rogers an' one other are in tha' smoke."

She was finding it increasingly harder to breath, and felt her strength waning. That was when she felt hands on her trying to pull her up, but she wouldn't let go of the last man's legs. After a moment or two she felt that he too was being lifted and allowed herself to be moved. She then felt a mask being placed over her mouth and nose.

"It's ok lass, we got ye, take some deep breaths." She pushed the mask aside.

"How is he?" she managed to choke out.

"Fair to middlin', he's lucky, as ye are, now let's get ye all back to the infirmary."

"I need to get this sorted," she croaked.

"The marines hav' it under control, come on, leave the mask alone an' let's get ye ou' of here." He helped her onto a gurney, which she had to share with the technician she had helped drag out.

"Where is Col. Sheppard" she heard Dr. Beckett ask. She could hear the radio crackling in her ear, but she was past caring, he wasn't talking to her, she couldn't have answered anyway, her throat felt raw.

"Well, let him know we hav' the fire under control, bu' we hav' four patients with smoke inhalation an' some minor burns."

They reached the infirmary a few minutes later and Tina was given her own bed, however when she tried to lie down, her coughing got worse, so she sat back up. She felt her t-shirt being pushed up at the back, and something cold being placed on her back.

"Deep breath for me, good lass, an' another…again." She didn't know how he heard anything through her coughing.

"Right, keep tha' oxygen mask on, I think ye will be just fine," he said as he came round into her view.

"The others?" she croaked out before doubling over in another coughing fit.

"Johnson an' Evens will be fine, they are both better off than ye. Bennett, I think will be staying with us a few days, as will ye, but I expec' you both to make full recoveries. He was lucky ye found 'im, but that doesn' mean I approve of ye goin' into a smoke filled area like tha' again, do ye understand me?"

She nodded. That was when her radio crackled into life.

"Captain Rogers, report." As she reached her hand up towards her ear piece, Dr. Beckett pushed it back down and spoke into his own radio.

"Colonel, Captain Rogers is with me, an' won't be goin' anywhere until the mornin' at the very earliest." Tina heard an edge to his voice as John asked for details. She listened as Carson explained about the smoke. All she could think was that she had been given the job of looking after the base for two hours, and had managed to burn part of it down within one. She would be lucky if they gave her the keys to her own quarters after this.

"I'm on my way," she heard John say, and wondered how much trouble she was in. Carson turned back to Tina.

"A nurse is getting' ye some scrubs an' we will get you cleaned up." She gave him a puzzled look and he could see the question in her eyes. He opened a draw in the cabinet beside the bed and pulled out a square mirror about the size of a side plate and handed it to her. She glanced at him, then looked at herself in the mirror, her face was black from the smoke, as were her hands, she was a mess!

"Tina?" She looked up at John as he came into the infirmary. She went to remove the mask.

"Oh no ye don', ye leave that right where it is lass," said Carson.

"Doc?" John turned to Carson, "how is she?" They moved away, and she could no longer hear them. She was relived she didn't have to talk, she was starting to feel tired. A nurse arrived with a bowl of water and a clean pair of scrubs and pulled the curtain around the bed. A little over ten minutes later she was in a clean set of scrubs, and most of the black had been washed off her face and hands, some however seemed to be deeply ingrained into her skin. Her coughing had eased off some, and now she was able to lean back a bit, still sitting, but more reclined. As soon as the nurse left, John appeared.

"Are you alright?" he asked, he didn't sound mad. She nodded.

"What do you think you were doing running into that smoke like that?" She knew he didn't expect an answer, but she pulled the mask off and gave one anyway.

"Saving lives, just as you would," the words scraped out of her throat.

"You could have been killed!" She looked at him for a moment.

"It is the nature of my job."

"No, you could have left it to the marines, they had masks."

"If I had waited Bennett would be dead." He didn't speak.

"I'm ok John." He put his hand up to her cheek.

"You gave me a fright, I don't want to lose you, not after I've just found you again."

"You don't get rid of me that easy," she smiled as she chocked the words out. He smiled and leaned forward and kissed the top of her head.

"How bad is it down there?" she asked. He shook his head.

"Don't worry about it, it's being taken care of."

"Sorry I made a mess of my first command," she whispered. Her throat felt like it was full of glass.

"It wasn't your fault there was a fire, no one is blaming you." She opened her mouth to say something, but her throat was too sore. She put her hand up to her neck, hoping somehow it would ease the pain.

"Carson!" John called. He went to put his head around the curtain to call again, but Carson was right there.

"She's in pain," John said.

"I tol' ye not to remove tha' mask lass," he said to Tina. "An' don' try to talk, I'll give ye somethin' for the pain, then ye are to rest, Ye will 'ave to go now Colonel."

"But."

"She cana' answer yer questions so they will 'ave to wait until mornin'." John nodded, and with one last look, he left.

"He seems quite concerne' about ye lass." She didn't know what to say, so she just looked down at her hands, which still looked quite grey. Carson Beckett watched her for a moment or two with a speculative look on his face.

"Get some rest lass," he said at last and left her alone. Within minutes, despite her sore throat she was asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

She was woken later by a voice whispering her name into her ear. She opened her eyes and in the half light, saw Bradley. He put his finger to his lips and whispered,

"If they know I'm here they will kick me out." She gave him a smile.

"Are you ok? He asked, and she nodded.

"Good. I hope you're not going to make a habit of this sort of thing, I have spent far too much time visiting you in infirmaries."

"I try to stay out of them," she whispered.

"But don't manage very well, it's like you look for trouble and charge straight in. You know they have a name for that sort of thing."

"What?"

"A death wish," he answered. He wasn't smiling now.

"I don't have a death wish, but I don't wish others to die because I didn't try to help." Her hand went up to her throat again.

"Have some water." Bradley held a glass up to her lips, and she took a sip, it felt blessedly cool and soothing.

"I saw Col. Sheppard here earlier," he said out of the blue. She looked up at him.

"He is the same Sheppard isn't he?" She nodded.

"You aren't going to do anything stupid are you? You know you will be busted down to a common airman if they find you have been carrying on with the Lieutenant Colonel."

"Don't worry about me, nothing is going on," she croaked out. He looked at her for a bit. He had seen how it had been between them five years ago. He had been the one who had to pick up the pieces when John Sheppard had shipped out. They had all been the same rank back then, and there hadn't been a problem, until he had gone, but the same was not true now. He wanted to believe her, but he had a nagging suspicion she was lying to him.

"Just be careful, ok?"

"Always am."

"Humpf," he shook his head. He could see her eyelids drooping, so he leant over and kissed the top her head.

"I'll leave you to get some rest, get better soon ok?" She nodded and her eyes were closed again before he had made it to the door.

When she woke next it was morning and Dr Beckett was checking the readings on the monitors by the head of the bed.

"How are ye feelin' this mornin' lass?" She opened her mouth to say fine, but only a croak came out. He smiled.

"It will take a couple a days before ye can do much more tha' whisper, so ye won't be dishin' ou' orders to anybody."

"They could be written orders," she whispered with a grin.

"Aye, they could be at that, but I think ye will jus' be stuck with the paperwork." She nodded and expected he had hit the nail on the head.

"How is the patient today?" asked Major Lorne as he and the Col. came into the room.

"She's doin' well," Carson answered, "but I wan' her to rest up for a couple of days." He turned to her and continued.

"I don' want ye to do any talkin'. If ye put too much strain on yer throat ye could do permanen' damage an' end up soundin' like an' old man who has smoked an' drunk too much whiskey for the whole of 'is long life." She nodded to him and made a silent vow not to let that happen.

"So when will she be fit for duty?" asked the major.

"Light duties that don' involve talkin' from tomorrow." The major smiled.

"I know just the job…paperwork!" A groan escaped Tina, and Dr Beckett chuckled.

"Are you keeping her in until then?" asked John.

"No. I think she would be more comfortable in 'er own quarters." They all agreed with that statement.

"You can go in an hour, after ye 'ave 'ad some breakfast, an' we'll 'ave a chat about 'ow t' aid yer recovery," the doctor continued.

"Ok, see you tomorrow morning in your office," said Major Lorne with a smile.

"Your office," she whispered back."

"Not anymore," he said with a smile and turned to leave.

"Well that will teach me to run into a smokey fire," she whispered.

"One can only 'ope," Carson answered her.

"Glad you're feeling better," said John. He gave her a nod, and followed the major from the room.

An hour later, dressed in her smokey uniform again, she left the infirmary. When she rounded the corner she found John leaning against the wall. He pushed himself up and fell into step beside her.

"I thought you might like some company," he said with a smile. She returned his smile and nodded.

A few minutes later she opened the door to her quarters and he followed her in. The moment the door was closed he reached out and took her hand and pulled her into his arms. He whispered into her hair.

"I wish I could stay with you and hold you all day, but I can't. I'll come back tonight ok?" She nodded while wondering what to do with daylight until he came back.

"I have to go now," he said kissing her lightly on the lips, then turned and left.

Once she had ditched the stinking uniform and showered the last of the smoke and soot off, she dressed in a pair of jeans and a white blouse. It felt funny to be out of uniform, but nice at the same time. She sat in front of the window with a book on the table beside her, and found herself studying the view. Tall, spired buildings, with a sparking sea beyond, it was so beautiful. She wondered at the events that bought her here, and finding John again. Then she remembered the late night visit from Bradley. He had worked it out, but she knew he would keep her secret. Then her mind strayed to something that Dr. Beckett had said, what was that now? He said that John had seemed concerned about her. Well that would be normal wouldn't it? She didn't like where the thought was leading her, so she dismissed it and picked up her book. It was one she had read many times before. 'Pawn of Prophecy' by David Eddings. It was the first in a series of books but this was her favourite. The story of a poor farm boy who would turn out to be one of the most powerful men in his world. A world full of magic and Dragons. She had escaped into this book as a child, to a different world, where she could have the power of "the will of the word". What she could have done with that. Today as always, she sank into the story and lost herself in the words.

Later as she put the book back down on the table she noticed how the angle of the sun had changed, then her stomach grumbled. A quick check of her watch confirmed it was now mid-afternoon, time to go find some lunch, and company. She stood up and stretched, then left for the mess. The one thing about living on a base like this one was there wasn't really any reason to take a jacket, you never had to go outside.

She felt conspicuous as she walked in, most people were in uniform, she stood out in her blouse and jeans. She looked at the range of food, most of it would be too hard on her throat, so ended up grabbing some yoghurt and a piece of fruit she knew was soft inside. As she approached the table filled with her fellow pilots she heard one of them let out a wolf whistle and call.

"Hey Rogers, girl clothes!"

"You don't get out much do you Campbell, if you think these are girl clothes," she whispered. Unfortunately her comeback was ruined by the fact she couldn't make her voice carry.

"Wow, girl clothes and quiet!" he retorted. "Who are you?" She threw her spoon at him, it clattered to the floor after it hit him on the shoulder, then she mouthed the words shut up.

She took a lot of teasing over the next 20 minutes or so, but she had missed these guys while she had been acting as Lorne's 2nd, so took it with good grace. One by one they each left to attend to their duties, so in the end she ended up sitting on her own, reluctant to go back to her empty room.

She was just thinking of getting another cup of coffee when Dr Beckett came and sat down at the table.

"'ow's yer throat now lass?"

"Sore," she whispered. "I wish I could eat proper food."

"The tissue of the mouth an' throat 'eal ver' quickly, ye will be able to 'andle normal food in a day or two."

"Hello Carson."

"Hello yerself Rodney, why don' ye join us?"

"Don't mind if I do, Robinson, right?"

"Rogers," she whispered the correction.

"I'm terrible with names and faces too most of the time." She found sitting with these two easy. They chattered away and left no room for her to talk anyway, all she needed to do was smile and nod. Shortly afterward they were joined by Teyla who Tina had come to know over the past month. When John entered the room it seemed only natural for him to sit at the table with his friends. He took a free chair beside Tina. It was nice feeling him close. She was included in the conversations, but again didn't need to talk. She felt a warm pressure on her knee as John allowed his leg to rest against hers under the table. Sitting beside him, she couldn't watch him as she would have liked, instead she ended up looking at Dr. Beckett who was directly across from her. He seemed to be watching her closely. After a while he made to stand up.

"Well I'd better be gettin' back, the sick wait on no one. Will ye join me lass, there's somethin' I'd like to check now while I think on it."

"Oh, alright," she whispered as she stood up. She smiled to everyone at the table saving John for last.

"See you later," she murmured, then she followed the Doctor out of the room. He slowed his pace and she fell into step beside him.

"That's a dangerous game ye two are playin' there," he said.

"What?" She croaked out loud enough for the single word to scrap her throat.

"Ye and the Colonel." She turned her horror filled eyes on him.

"Don' worry, I don' think anyone else has noticed, I'm more attuned to readin' people. Patients don' usually tell their doctor everythin', so I learn' t notice their body language." She couldn't think of the right words to say, but her look must have said volumes.

"I'm not goin' t report ye, but if ye continue with…" he paused before going on.

"Someone else will notice, an' most wouldna' be so charitable."

She hadn't noticed they had stopped walking, but now had to stand aside to allow some personnel pass.

"I'm not goin' t tell ye what ye should do lass, ye know tha' already."

"You don't need me in the infirmary do you?" she murmured.

"No lass, I don'," she stood in front of him for a moment or two, then turned and walked away. She was going in the wrong direction for her quarters and ended up on a balcony overlooking the South Pier. She had known from the moment that she heard she was going to Atlantis that this could be a problem, but she had not wanted to think about it, pushed it to the back of her mind. The thought of anyone finding out about them and the consequences they would both face was unthinkable. But equally as unthinkable was for them both to be working here on the base and not being allowed to be together. The sun was going down as she turned to leave, she still hadn't been able to work out a solution. She wandered the halls of the base for a while, but finally ended up back at her own quarters.

When the door chime went some time later, she was sitting in the dark, and didn't get up to answer it. It opened anyway.

"Hello?" John asked the dark room. She thought about being quiet and hoping he wouldn't see her and leave, but she couldn't do it.

"Hello," she said back.

"What are you doing sitting in the dark?"

"Huh, nothing, thinking."

He closed the door and went over to her, squatted down in front of her and put his hands on her knees. That was when he saw her tears.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He moved closer and took her in his arms. She had hoped she would have got herself under control by the time he arrived, but fresh tears streamed down her face. She couldn't talk, couldn't make herself heard, and his arms felt so good, she didn't want him to ever let her go. But finally she had to make the effort. She put her hands on his shoulders and pushed him back so she could see his face. He looked confused, concerned and scared. John Sheppard looked scared, that just wasn't right, how could she do this to him?

"Carson knows," she choked out.

"What?"

"About us." Even in the dark she could see the colour drain from his face.

"He told me when we left this afternoon. He said he won't report us, but if he has seen it, and Bradley has…"

"Wait, what? Bradley?"

"You remember Bradley Lewis, he's here too. He saw you and put two and two together without even seeing us together."

"He would."

"If both of them know, when it has only been a few days that we have been together, how long before other people start to see things?"

"Well, Bradley knows our history, he has a large head start on everyone else."

"And Carson? He doesn't know we have a history!"

There was silence for a while as they both thought on what had been said, as well as what hadn't.

It was Tina who spoke first.

"We have to stop this don't we?" It took John a moment to answer.

"Yes I think we do." He looked up into her eyes and she could see a deep sadness in them.

"I could leave the service," he said half-heartedly.

"No you couldn't," she answered him. "And if I left, I would be sent home." Silence again. John had his head down. Tina looked past him to the lights of the city out the window. She felt his hand on the side of her face, she looked back at him.

"Not tonight." He leaned in and kissed her, a kiss full of a life time of longing which grew in intensity, if this was going to be their last night…..

When he drew away, they both stood up. He looked deeply into her eyes, and stroked her hair back behind her ear. There was so much they both wanted to say to each other, but neither of them spoke. With extreme care he undid the buttons of her blouse and slipped it off her shoulders, gently running his fingers down her arms. He drew her to him and kissed her lips, and she melted into his arms which made it that much easier for him to scoop her up and carry her over to the bed. He lay her down then quickly took off his gun belt, radio and boots, there would be nothing to laugh at tonight. Slowly with deliberate care they removed each other's clothing , each trying to burn the memories into their minds. They took their time, neither of them wanting the night to end. When at last they were spent, they lay in each other's arms and clung together. Usually John would leave and go back to his own room now, even back in the early days, but this time he stayed. He hardly slept, he spent the time watching Tina sleep, watching her dream, wondering if it was him she was seeing in her them.

When he noticed the first touches of dawn he got up, went and showered, and dressed. Then he reached for the note pad. This would be the last note he would leave her, he thought hard about it before finally committing it to paper.

NEVER FORGET!

J.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Tina wasn't asleep, but she didn't know how to say good-bye, didn't know if she could let him go. She wanted so much to tell him to stay, that she didn't care if they got caught, as long as they could be together, but is wasn't just her career that she would be putting on the line. John had so much more to lose, and she was determined that he wouldn't have too. So she lay there and listened to him move around the room. She felt the light kiss on the top of her head and clenched her fists so she wouldn't reach out to him. After she heard the door close behind him, she still kept her eyes closed. If she didn't see the empty room, maybe she could kid herself he was still there.

No, didn't work.

Her eyes opened and she could see the wall next to the door, she could see that she was alone. She sat up and saw his note beside the bed, she picked it up and ran her fingers over the words, then she opened the draw in the cabinet beside the bed and took out an envelope. Inside were all the notes like this one that he had left her during their time together. Most of them old and well-worn by years of her taking them out to read again. This was the last one she would get. She slipped it in with the others and put it back in the draw.

She had to report for work today, but had a couple of hours to fill before then, so she closed her eyes again, but sleep wouldn't come. In the end she got up and showered and dressed and went to the mess, she could be early today. Her throat felt a bit better today, but she still chose soft food and tried not to talk. Other people trickled in as the morning wore on, and Tina sat with a coffee cup in her hand trying to look normal. She wasn't prepared for when John walked in with Teyla. As soon as she saw him she looked down at the tabletop. She guessed he must have seen her but she wasn't willing to look up.

"You alright?" Bradley asked her.

"Yes, just tired with a sore throat, "she whispered. She felt like she might be able to talk a bit better than that today but staying quiet suited her mood, so would paperwork.

She was right; paperwork was just what she needed. Something basically mindless to do to keep herself busy and in an office away from anyone. She tried not to think of anything beyond the page in front of her. The day passed slowly, but at the same time faster that she expected. She had skipped lunch, not wanting to run into John again, but was starving by the time dinner came around. She sat with her back to the door this time so she wouldn't see if he came in.

She felt Bradley watching her, but she took no notice of him. Even though she was hungry, she found she could hardly get anything down, not just because of her raw throat. It just felt uncomfortable in her stomach. All her friends were laughing and having fun around the table, but Tina didn't feel up to it, so she turned to Bradley and told him in a quiet voice that she was tired and going to bed.

"I'll walk with you," he said standing up. She didn't want company, but could see the determined set of his face, so just nodded. He said their goodbyes and they turned to leave. As they neared the door, John walked in and stopped abruptly in front of them.

"Evening Sir," Bradley greeted him.

"Lieutenant, Captain," he said. His eyes slid over her face catching her eyes for a second. She saw her own pain mirrored in his.

"Sir," she whispered and then walked past. Bradley caught to her up in a few steps.

"What was that about?" he asked. She just shook her head.

"Tina." He grabbed her arm to stop her and looked into her face, she dropped her eyes so he couldn't see in them.

"What happened? Did he hurt you, tell me now or I will go ask him."

"No don't!" She looked up, "not here."

They continued walking to her quarters, once safe inside she went and sat down by the window, Bradley took the other seat. Without raising her head, she spoke in a quiet voice.

"It's over, we are finished so you don't have to worry about it anymore."

"I thought you two were loves young dream?" he stated.

"We were breaking regulations, is what we were doing."

"I wouldn't have said anything," he looked aghast that she might think he would.

"We couldn't have kept it secret for ever, someone at some point would have noticed and then there would be hell to pay." She wanted him to argue the point with her, but he was silent, she looked up.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"So am I."

"Do you want me to stay for a bit?" he asked.

"No thanks. I just want to go to bed, I'm feeling a bit off."

"Ok, if you need anything, you know where to find me."

"Thanks Bradley. I'll be ok, I promise." She gave him a smile. He nodded and stood up, putting his hand on her shoulder and giving it a squeeze, then left.

Tina woke up still in the chair by the window, her neck was sore, as was her back. She looked at the time, it was 3am, way too early to go to work, so she went and lay down on her bed, and tried to get the kinks out of her spine. Her alarm woke her up at the usual time, and she went through the motions of getting ready for work. When she got to the mess hall she noticed John was already there. She avoided looking in his direction while getting some breakfast, then sat with her back to him. Her throat was feeling a lot better, she thought she could probably eat normal food, so had grabbed some cereal and toast to go with her coffee, but when she tried the cereal it still scrapped and hurt on the way down, the toast was a little better but after 2 bites she found she had no appetite, so just stuck with her coffee. She thought she might be able to talk a little louder today, but after eating failed she decided to give it another day of whispering.

She spent a couple of hours in the office working on the paperwork, some of it to do with the fire.

"Note to self, never have a fire again, it is too much paperwork," she mumbled.

The door opened and Major Lorne came in.

"I want you to head up a security detail to escort a few scientists who want to go looking out in the Bad Lands."

"Yes Sir. How many scientists will there be?"

"Four. Three of you should do, I'll leave the 'who' up to you. Meet them in lab 3b in 30minutes."

"Yes Sir, I'll get right onto it," she almost smiled at the thought of getting away from the paperwork, but guessed it would still be waiting for her tomorrow.

_Time to try out a louder voice, _she thought as she went out to the hanger bay and looked around, then went into the locker room off to the side, where she finally found some of her fellow pilots.

"Morgan and Henderson, with me, we are taking some nerds on a walk in the outback, we need to get to the armoury and gear up now." It wasn't loud, but it carried well.

"Yes Ma'am," they said in chorus, and followed her out. In the armoury they put on the tack vest and clipped P90's to them. They also put on a side arm each. As Pilots first they weren't required to wear one all the time, but acting as security they were. The pockets of the tack vests were filled with anything they might need, and a few extra bits and pieces just in case. When they were ready they made their way to the lab where they found four scientists one of whom was Dr. Radek Zelenka, Tina had come to know him quite well in the month when he had been the top scientist while Dr. Rodney McKay was on Earth.

"Morning Dr. Zelenka, where are we off to today?"

"We are going to be heading out west, Captain."

"Just as well I bought along a posse then, shall we go?" She fell into step with Zelenka and the other three scientists came after, with Morgan and Henderson bringing up the rear. They were all relaxed while in the known parts of the city, but once they passed into parts unknown they became much more alert to danger. Tina was on point, Morgan was in the middle and Henderson took the six.

They didn't expect to find trouble, but you just never knew what was out here.

They reached their target building and checked rooms as they came to them. Most of them were empty and uninteresting and must have been used as storerooms or something, but then this was the ground floor. As they moved up the levels the rooms started to take on a more lived in look, or be it a very long ago one. Zelenka and his men were keen to check out every one of them, and catalogue what they found. Tina didn't mind the exploring part of the detail, hell it was fun poking around abandoned buildings, but she hated the part where they just had to stand around and wait while old files were looked through to determine what the room had been used for.

It had taken just under an hour to reach this particular building, and they had been in it for another hour, which put it about lunch time, she could see Henderson was getting restless, he had a tendency to get irritable when he missed a meal break.

"Hey guys," she called to the room in general. "It's about lunch time, let's take a break and get a little something to eat." She got happy nods from Henderson and Morgan, but only one of the scientists looked happy with the idea.

"You eat by all means," replied Zelenka. "I'll just keep looking here while I grab a bite." She nodded, this was nothing new.

"Ok, I'll take watch, you guys take a seat." With that she walked outside the door. Her stomach rumbled but she ignored it, she would eat later, the protein bars weren't very appetizing at the best of times, but with her throat still delicate, the thought of eating one made her feel positively ill.

She turned to her left and walked down the corridor as far as the corner and shone the torch attached to her P90 down the hall, nothing moved, it was clear. So she back tracked and went to the corner at the other end which also turned out to be clear. There were 6 rooms in this small area, the fifth of which they were in now. Tina walked to the final door and shone her torch round it. The beam picked out consoles of the type Zelenka and his men always got excited about. She stepped into the room wanting to clear it for him before she called, he wasn't good at holding back his enthusiasm at times.

There appeared to be five consoles which all looked the same to Tina. There were also a number of cabinets around the edges of the room as well as what looked like desks.

She was standing in the middle of the room when she heard a noise behind her. She swung round, the muzzle of the P90 leading the way, and saw a scruffy looking old man just in time to dodge the blow he was about to deliver. As she ducked, she bought her right elbow round and delivered a blow of her own to his ribs. She heard the breath being knocked out of him and expected him to go down, but he was a canny old bugger, and he kicked out at her legs, knocking one out from under her, and they fell in a heap on the floor. P90's are no good in hand to hand fighting so she let go of it and used her fists instead, catching him on the chin before he managed to get a hold around her neck. For an old guy he was strong and she was having trouble getting the upper hand. He rolled on top of her and again reached for her neck, she bought her knee up hoping to catch him in the groin, but only managed to knock him forward. She had had enough of this, and reached for her side arm and drew it out, but he saw the action and grabbed her wrist with surprising strength. She was unable to bring it to bare, so she let off a couple of rounds into the wall knowing that would bring help running. Moments later she heard the sound of boots coming into the room and the man was dragged off her. Morgan and Henderson restrained him, while Zelenka put out his hand to help Tina up, which she accepted gratefully. Her other hand went to her neck which felt bruised.

"Are you alright, Captain?" Henderson asked. She nodded yes even though she felt a little light headed. She leaned against one of the consoles.

"Where the hell did he come from, no one showed up on the life signs detector before," she said.

"He must have been out of range," Morgan said pulling the detector form his pocket.

"I'm not picking up anyone else."

"All the same, we better get a bigger team down her to do a full sweep," she said. She reached for her ear piece to open a channel.

"Rogers to Major Lorne."

"Lorne here."

"Sir, we found a crazy old man out here. Requesting a team of marines to do a full sweep of the area."

"Is he still alive?"

"Yes Sir, alive and kicking," she said feeling a bruises coming up on her skin.

"Ok, sit tight, we will send a team by jumper, Lorne out."

"Ok, so now we wait," she said to the others. "A jumper is on its way, you might as well take a look around while we're here," she said turning towards Zelenka. She could already see the grin on his face.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Tina continued to lean where she was; she really wasn't feeling very well at all. She was sure she would come right in a minute, no need to bother anyone. Morgan and Henderson had secured the man's hands behind his back, and had sitting him down. Looking at him she could see he wasn't really that old at all, it was just the wild blonde hair that at first glance had looked grey in the half-light of this complex. No wonder he was stronger than she had expected. One question kept nagging at her, where had he come from? He couldn't have been left over from the time of the Ancients. The only thing she could come up with, was if he had been from one of the settlements that had been brought to Atlantis after the Wraith had attacked them, maybe one didn't want to leave. But why attack?

Her head hurt and her stomach was really queasy, she swallowed hard. _Get yourself under control! _She thought to herself. She glanced at Zelenka and his 3 lackeys', they were as happy as pigs in mud. This was the type of stuff they had been looking for. Morgan had his P90 trained on the wild haired man, and Henderson had gone to stand by the door, so no one was watching her, no that wasn't true, the man who had attacked her was, and he didn't look so crazy anymore either.

"Here they come." Henderson called in the door.

"About time," Tina said to herself.

"Your throat hurting you again ma'am?" asked Morgan.

"A bit yes, it doesn't help when some mad man tries to choke you." She could hear the sound of boots coming closer. The sooner they got this guy out of her sight the better. She heard the men come into the room and looked over to see who had been sent. Colonel John Sheppard was looking back at her. He looked as surprised as she felt. But she guessed it made sense he would want know about someone hiding out on the edges of the city. He looked from Tina to the man on the floor.

"Who are you, and what are you doing here?" He got no reply, in fact the man didn't even shift his gaze off Tina, he was really starting to get on her nerves!

John called two of his men over and told them to take the prisoner back to the brig, in the jumper, and lock him up. Tina watched him being taken out and sighed with relief when he could no longer see her.

"Someone report!" John said, he was looking at her.

"We were having a lunch break, I took watch. I was checking this room out when he came up behind me, and tried to hit me over the head."

"Did he manage to hit you?"

"No sir."

"He tried to choke her though Sir," Morgan supplied. She gave him a look that said he would be for it later on.

"Are you hurt, Captain?" John asked.

"No sir."

"Right then, you two stay here with Zelenka," he said indicating Henderson and Morgan.

"You, with me," he said to Tina, before turning and walking out of the room.

"Yes sir," she answered pushing herself up off the console to follow him out into the hall. There was no one in sight as he continued down the hall and into the next room. When she entered he turned on her.

"How the hell did he get the drop on you?"

"I guess I wasn't expecting any one to be there, my guard was down." She was trying to read the look on his face, but it kept changing. One second she could see he was mad, the next he was concerned. His hand reached out to her neck.

"He has left bruises on your neck." She stood there for a moment, then took a step back, out of his reach, and looked away. She couldn't do this, it was too hard.

"How have you been?" he asked. She looked back at him.

"Coping, I've been coping. Don't do this John, just walk away." He looked at her for a few moments more than nodded, turned and left the room. She felt sick, and staggered over to the wall and lent against it with her hand over her mouth. After a few moments she got herself under control again. She pushed herself off from the wall and went out into the hall, John was standing down one end of it with his back to her. She thought she had a pretty good idea of how he felt. She turned and walked to the opposite end of the hall and looked down first one way and then the other. She thought she saw movement, could it be the team that has been sent out to sweep the area? She activated her earpiece.

"Rogers to control room."

"Chuck here."

"Can you tell me where the team of marines who are sweeping this area are, please?"

"They are two floors down from you."

"So who is that down the hall from me?"

"I have six signals in one room, one at each end of that hall, and one more down a hall at a right angle to the first."

"Are all the marines accounted for?" A moment passed and then came the answer.

"Yes." She glanced down the hall towards John, who had been listening in on the conversation, and could see him coming towards her at a jog, he would catch up with her in a moment.

"I'm going to take a look," she said into the radio, and moved off cautiously down the hall panning the torch light ahead of her. She could hear John just behind her now. Movement caught her eye again and she swung the beam to the spot just in time to see someone disappear off to the side. She and John both started to run down the hall, he over took her in a few strides while reporting the sighting to everyone on the wave band. By the time Tina reached the corner John was out of sight. She felt sick again. She put her hand out to the wall hoping to catch herself before she fell, but it turned out to be an open doorway instead and she fell into a dark room, as she hit the floor the torch went out. Her stomach started to convulse, but it was empty, so there was nothing but bile to come up and the acid burned her throat. She tried to push herself onto her hands and knees, but couldn't find the strength. Finally her stomach stopped heaving and she rolled away from the mess on the floor. Again she tried to get up, but just couldn't, she knew she needed help. With more effort than she could believe she managed to raise her hand to her earpiece and opened a channel. She meant to tell them she was in trouble, but all she could manage was help, then she could felt herself losing consciousness. She could hear someone calling her, but sounded like it was coming from so far away. It didn't take long for John to find her, he had asked Chuck to locate her life sign. He came into the room and knelt down beside her, and put his hand on her face, it felt cold and clammy. He could smell the bile, and located it a moment later.

"Sheppard to Beckett."

"Beckett here, what is it Colonel?"

"I'm not sure, Tin….Captain Rogers is down, I can't see a wound anywhere, but she is unconscious."

"Alright lad, where are ye now?" John told him, and Carson said he would take a jumper and be right there. John didn't feel secure in the darkened room, not when he knew there was an unknown threat around, so he pushed aside his P90, and picked Tina up in his arms, noting as he did so, how light she felt. Making sure not to leave any weapons behind, he carried her out of the room, and back down the hall they had run down. When he got to the junction with the main hall, he was met by Billy Morgan.

"Sir, I was coming to give you a hand."

"Thank you, but I've got her. The person we were chasing got away, I want you to stand guard outside the door of the lab. I don't want anyone sneaking up on us."

"Yes sir," Morgan said, and took up his position as John carried Tina in. He took her over to a desk and laid her on top of it.

"There is no wound that I can see," he told the room in general. "Was she sick before?" he asked.

"Right after the fight she looked a bit white, but I put that down to being choked," answered Henderson.

"She seemed fine to me," added Zelenka, and the others nodded. No one had seen anything out of the ordinary.

A few minutes later, Carson came in with two Marines.

"Ok let us take a look 'ere," he said as John moved aside to let him in. He checked her pulse, her breathing, and felt her clammy skin.

"Has she thrown up at all, do ye know?"

"Yes," John answered.

"Did it look normal, or was it a thick clearish liquid, greeny yellow?"

"The second one."

"Hmm, I need t get her back t the infirmary as quickly as possible." She was loaded onto a stretcher, which one of the marines had carried in. The marines took an end each. John turned to Zelenka.

"Right, I'm not leaving you here, everyone to the jumper now." Zelenka stared to protest.

"I said now!" John raised his voice and spoke over Zelenka. Henderson took up point and they all filed out of the room. They reached the jumper without incident, and inside ten minutes Tina was being wheeled into the infirmary. Dr. Beckett ran a scan and did a couple of tests, then hooked her up to an IV. Only after he did that did he come out and talk to John, Henderson and Morgan.

"It would appear tha' the Captain hasn' been eattin', or if she has, it has been very little. She is malnourished, and dehydrated. The physical excursion she was puttin' herself under, as well as the injuries got durin' the fire, and then the fight jus' now, pushed her t breakin' point, an' her body quite simply shut down."

"Will she be Ok?" Henderson asked jumping in before John.

"It will take a couple o' days, but I believe she will make a full recovery."

"Good," said Henderson, and Morgan nodded his agreement.

"Ok men, dismissed, go get a good meal in you," John ordered.

"Yes Sir," they both saluted and left. When they were alone John turned back to Carson.

"Is this because of me? He asked. "Because we….finished?" Carson looked at the man who was obviously in torment and said.

"No, it must 'ave been a good few weeks t get t this level. I know she had been busy, she probably started skippin' the odd meal weeks ago, it may 'ave become the norm, but in the last few days since the fire, she wouldn' 'ave been able to eat much at all, even soft food would 'ave hurt goin' down. You….finishin' didn't do this, it can't 'ave helped, but it wasn' the cause."

John breathed a sigh of relief.

"I couldn't bear it if I had pushed her to this," he said rubbing one hand over his face. "Can I see her?"

"Do ye think that's wise lad?"

"I think it is safe to say when it comes to Tina Rogers, wisdom doesn't come into it."

Dr. Beckett nodded, he understood.

"Not t long lad, an' she may not even know ye are there. Ye won't be disturbed," then he turned and went over to a bank of computer terminals.

John went into the curtained off area. Tina was dressed in scrubs again. He could see the dark bruising on her neck clearly in the shape of two hands. He felt a rage start to burn in the pit of his stomach. She was deathly pale and her eyes were closed. He reached out a hand, and smoother her hair off her forehead, and then caressed her cheek. He wanted to tell her everything that was in his heart, to beg her to come back to him, that they had made a mistake, they could make this work somehow. But he didn't say anything at all, he just stood there touching her face and watching her sleep. He hadn't noticed before but her face was a lot thinner than he was used to seeing.

After a while, he bent down and lightly kissed her lips, then whispered in her ear.

"I will never forget," then he straightened and left.

Carson watched him go. He felt sorry for the man, but the military had its rules, and they were there for good reason.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Tina spent the next two days in the infirmary hooked up to a drip, and on pain meds so she could eat some solid food. She had been horrified to hear that she had collapsed due to lack of food, and that it had been John who had not only found her, but had carried her back to the others in the new found lab, before a medical team arrived. What he must think of her! A weak silly girl!

The only comfort she had from it was that he didn't come to visit her in the infirmary, he sent Major Lorne to check up on how she was progressing. She did however, have a string of other visitors, all seventeen of her fellow pilots. (Major Lorne and Col. Sheppard along with herself making, up the twenty strong fleet. )

She had heard from her visitors that the 2 men, who had been found, had been Genii soldiers who had somehow been missed when Kolya had tried to take the base during a storm. They had been hiding out for months.

Even so, she had a lot of time to think, and she came to the conclusion there was only one solution to the predicament she now found herself in, she had to request a transfer back to Earth, back to Stargate Command. She just couldn't go on living like this. Every time she heard footsteps she was scared it would be John coming. Every time they turned out to belong to someone else, she found herself disappointed it wasn't him.

Carson, as he insisted his regulars call him, wouldn't allow any sort of work to come into the infirmary, so she wasn't able to fill out any transfer request forms until he discharged her. Even then she wasn't allowed to go back to work for 3 more days, with only light duties after that. Paper work of course! As soon as she was able, she filled out the papers and submitted them. She felt a great weight lifted from her shoulders as soon as she did.

It only took a day for that form to pass across John's desk, he couldn't sign it. He felt like he was standing on the edge of a cliff, to sign would mean letting go and allowing himself to fall, but what was here for them if he didn't sign, they couldn't be together, she was making herself sick because of him. He knew Carson had said the whole skipping meals thing started weeks ago, but that would have been after their first night together on the base. It was during the time he was away on Earth, how could that not have anything to do with him?

Then he started to think what might happen if she did go back to Stargate Command. She wouldn't be in his chain of Command, he could go back on leave, and he would be allowed to be with her. Long distance yes, the longest, but it could work couldn't it? Maybe she could take her leave her in the Pegasus Galaxy, it had never been done before, but why not? The more he thought about it, the more it made sense. He signed the application, and then went out to see Chuck in the gate room.

"Chuck, can you locate Captain Rogers for me please?"

"Yes sir…..She is on level three in the Northwest gym."

"Ok, thanks." He made his way down, and practiced what he was going to say along the way. By the time he got to the door he had the whole conversation mapped out, knew exactly how it would go, then he saw her, and his mind went blank.

She was alone in the room, with her back to him. She had some music playing, "Never Say Goodbye" by Bon Jovi. She was moving through a series of bends, stretches and lunges, which all seemed to flow almost into a dance. He stood in the doorway and watched until the music ended. She didn't turn, just stood there until the next piece of music started, and she started on another series of moves. He didn't want to interrupt, so he quietly turned and left. He would talk to her later.

As she was moving through the mix of yoga and tai chi, Tina caught sight of John out of the corner of her eye. He was standing in the doorway watching her. When the music stopped she waited for him to speak, but he said nothing, then the next piece of music started, and she started the next routine. She didn't see him leave, but felt he was no longer there. A tear slipped from her eye and ran down her face. It would be over soon, she would be back on Earth.


	8. Chapter 8

Ok folks, I'm really pleased you have come on this journey with me.

Now some of you….ok all of you might get a little disturbed by where the story seems to be going…bear with me, it is not the end.

For me, this is where the story started, the beginning came later. It had a title and everything…now though, it is just chapter 8

Chapter 8

The next morning was much the same as any other day. There was no paperwork today, but still Tina had pulled the short straw and was stuck with the tedious job of visually and physically checking each of the 20 craft in the F302 fleet for signs of wear or damage. Working from a checklist she moved from one craft to another around the hangar bay finding nothing of note on or in any of them. She was looking over the second to last craft in the bay when she heard the call to scramble the fleet. Taking the tablet with her, she rushed to the locker room, joining the other members of the squadron and donned her flight-suit. When she saw John enter, she went over to him.

"Excuse me, sir"

"Yes, what is it?" He looked shocked to see her.

"I checked 19 out of the 20 craft sir, but, I didn't get a chance to go over the last one."

"Can't be helped now, who's is it?"

"It's yours, John."

"Mine? Well that's ok then, she was looking fine when I last took her out. Besides too late to worry about it now," he gave her a quick smile.

"Listen up!" he called to the assembled 302 pilots. "Two Wraith Cruisers have dropped out of hyper space and established a high orbit just out of weapons range. I think we can assume by this that they know we are here. I want us all to be ready to launch the moment they begin to power up weapons. The city is cloaked at the moment, and we have to draw any attack away from it, to allow the cloak to be dropped and replaced by the shields. Now get to your craft and be ready to launch on my mark. Move out!"

There was a spilt second of hesitation, then everyone was running to their assigned craft. It was only a matter of a couple of minutes later that the radios in their helmets crackled into life.

"Darts have been launched, lets head out boys and girls."

Just as had been practiced many times, the F302's made a hasty but orderly exit from the hangar bay, then flew up to engage the enemy.

The battle was fierce. The 302's were joined by drones from the weapons chair, and 4 jumpers, which while cloaked made runs at the cruisers, dropping the cloak at the last second inflicting as much damage as possible. The airwaves were alive with chatter as pilots called to each other requesting aid or giving it, then the one call they all dreaded to hear.

"I've been hit; I've lost weapons and hull integrity is compromised."

"Can you make it back to the city?" someone called

"Negative. I'll never make it, I can barely hold it together, I'm done for, but by God I intend to take a cruiser out with me!"

"Col Sheppard, can you not make it back to a safe bail out altitude," Tina called.

"Not a snow ball's chance in Hell. I want you all to pull back out of the blast range; the city can't afford to lose any more of us!"

With that he set a course to collide with the bridge of the nearest cruiser, moments later the Wraith ship erupted in a fiery ball, the blast of which started a chain reaction on board the other damaged cruiser when the blast radius hit it, taking out the second ship as well.

The 302's and jumpers made short work of the remaining darts, then returned to the city without any of the usual good humour which usually followed a victory, no one felt like celebrating with Col. John Sheppard, the 2nd in command of the base, dead.

Tina didn't really know how she got through the rest of the day. She was racked by guilt. If only she had checked his craft, maybe he would still be here, still alive.

Dr. Weir had told her that it hadn't been her fault, that the quick check of the craft most likely would not have change the outcome of the battle. Still when she finally was able to lay her head down on her bed she was filled with despair. She had lost John, how could she go on!

The morning dawned bright and clear. Tina was woken by her alarm as usual, and took note of the date, 20th of October.

"Hmmmm," she stretched as she tried to catch the last moments of her dream. Something about a dog fight, no a full on battle, someone died. She sat up abruptly, eyes wide.

"John died! I didn't check his craft!" She put her head in her hands for a moment. Something felt off, but she couldn't put her finger on it. She had no time to think about it now; she was on duty in only 40 minutes.

15 minutes later she walked into the mess hall finding the usual clamour of lively chatter. She glanced around the room till she spotted her friends and fellow pilots and went to join them.

Major Lorne came by the table to read out the list of duties for each member of the squad for the day. Tina's name was near the bottom of the list due to position of R in the alphabet. Finally he called.

"Rogers, hands on visual check of the fleet."

"What?" Her head jerked up in surprise. "But I just did that!"

"I don't think so Captain, according to my notes; it was well over a month ago you last pulled this duty."

Just then a movement across the room caught her eye. John had just walked in and over to his usual table with Rodney McKay and Teyla Emmagan. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up. She rubbed her hand across her eyes and looked again, yep; there he was, as large as life.

"It was just a dream," she muttered to herself. She ran her hand over her hair and smoothing down the ponytail at the back, trying to rid herself of the cold shiver that had just run down her spine.

Major Lorne was talking again.

"Ok people, on your feet, and about your business."

The noise of all the chairs being pushed back at once was deafening and drew looks from all around the room. John caught Tina staring at him.

"Just a dream," she muttered again.

"Something to say there Rogers?" the Major asked

"No sir." She answered as she rose. "Thank you sir" As she moved away she cast another quick glance in John's direction. He was still watching her. She acknowledged him with a nod, and left the mess hall at a fast walk.

The morning passed slowly as Tina checked each of the fighters around the hangar. Even though she knew that it had been a dream she still felt like she had done all this just yesterday. Then as she was finishing off the check on the second last craft, it came, the call to scramble the fleet. She looked at the last craft, John's, not checked, just like in her dream. Dread settled into her bones.

As soon as John entered the locker room to give his pep-talk, Tina was there.

"Sir- John, I didn't get a chance to check your craft."

"Don't worry about it." He said. "Not much we can do about it now, besides she looked and felt just fine the last time I took her up."

"Please, maybe you should take mine, just in case, it's been checked."

"What? Of course not." He moved past her into the room to address the others.

"Listen up."

Tina listened carefully noting that she knew what he was going to say before he said it. She almost felt like she was moving in a dream, only she knew it wasn't!

Once in the air she tried to keep a close eye on his 302, hoping she would be able to overt disaster, but it wasn't long before she lost track of him and had to worry about being shot down herself. Then she heard it, his call.

"I've been hit. I've lost weapons and hull integrity is compromised."

"Get to a safe bail out altitude," Tina called through the radio. It was happening again!

"Negative. I'll never make it, but if I'm going out, then by God I'm taking one of them with me!"

Everything seemed to slow down as Tina watched in horror. His craft flew towards the bridge of the nearest cruiser and crash into it creating the massive fireball that took out both ships.

That evening, Dr. Weir couldn't console her by saying it would have made no difference, Of course it would have, that had to be why she had the dream in the first place, to learn from it and save his life. She felt wretched as she dragged herself into bed that night.

The alarm went off at 6.20am, as it did every morning. Tina turned her head towards it to hit the button and kill the noise when she caught sight of the date. She was bolt upright in less than a second.

"How can it be the 20th of October?"

She thought back over the previous day, she could remember it clearly; it had been the 20th of October, the day that Lt. Col. John Sheppard was killed in a battle with two Wraith Cruisers.

She was dressed and in the mess hall in record time but couldn't stomach the thought of food, settling for a cup of coffee instead. She took note of the conversations around her, a few words stood out as something she had heard before. Major Lorne approached and read out the list of duties.

"Rogers, hands on visual check of the fleet." She just nodded as she watched John enter the mess hall with his friends and sit at his usual table. She could feel a cold sweat trickle down her spine. It was all going to happen again! But no, she wouldn't let it. Today she would start the check with his craft. She would do everything in her power to keep the John alive….this time!

Later in the day, sure enough, just as she was finishing up the check of the second last craft, the call went out. This time as she entered the locker room she made her way over to one of the men.

"Bradley" she said.

"Yeah?"

"I didn't get a chance to check your craft. I'm sure it is ok, but I thought you should know." She remembered she had found nothing out of the ordinary the day before. In fact she had found nothing wrong with Col. Sheppard's craft when she checked it today.

"Listen up!" Tina hadn't seen when John had come in, and jumped slightly at the sound of his voice.

This time the battle went differently. Col. Sheppard didn't make the dreaded call, it was Lewis.

"Shit! I've been hit. I'm going to try and make it down, my hull has been compromised"

"Ok, take it nice and easy, Lieutenant . We will finish up here, and a jumper will pick you up shortly," John replied.

Moments later Lewis's craft exploded before he could make it to a safe altitude to bail out.

One of the Wraith cruisers took some heavy damage and a chain reaction of explosions started which resulted in its destruction, but the other cruiser was able to get away in time and retreat taking most of the darts with it. They had seen the invaders off, but they hadn't really won the battle. That cruiser would be back now that they knew exactly where to come!

Dr Weir and John both told Tina that it hadn't been her fault that Lewis had died, but by now she knew for a fact that they were wrong. As she lay down in her bed that night, she was making plans. If she had another chance, she knew just what she would do!


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

When the alarm went off the next morning, Tina checked the date first, 20th of October.

This was one crappy day she would be happy to see the end of!

She walked through the morning with an air of calm; she enjoyed her morning coffee and listened to her friends chat and laugh. She thanked the Major when he assigned her what she now thought of as her usual job, and nodded hello and smiled at John as she passed his table on the way out. She worked with care, methodically checking all the craft she had time to do, she was sure both Col. Sheppard and Lieutenant Bradley Lewis would survive the day. When she heard the call to scramble again, she was calm and relaxed.

"Listen up!" she heard John call, and she did. Then as she headed out towards her craft a command stopped her.

"Captain Rogers, did you manage to check all the craft?"

"No sir, I got round all but one."

"Which one got missed?"

"Mine John," she smiled." But I'm sure it will be ok."

"Of course it will. Good luck, Tina."

"You too, John."

The battle was fierce. The 302's were joined by drones from the weapons chair, and 4 jumpers, which while cloaked made runs at the cruisers, dropping the cloak at the last second inflicting as much damage as possible. The airwaves were alive with chatter as pilots called to each other requesting aid or giving it, then the one call they all dreaded to hear.

"I've been hit; I've lost weapons, and hull integrity has been compromised. I wouldn't make it to a safe bail out altitude, but I tell you, if I'm going out, I'm taking one of them with me!"

The crippled F302 was angled towards the bridge of the nearest cruiser and struck it moments later with enough force to cause an explosion big enough to take out both ships. The remaining Darts were tidied up without any problems.

Later that evening John entered his quarters feeling like the ground had been kicked out from under him. He was finding it hard to come to terms with the death of Tina, his Tina! He had given up his chance to talk to her last night in the gym, she had died without knowing that he had been laying plans so they could stay in each other's lives, and the short conversation he had with her today had been so formal!

"Good luck," he had said to her, how he wished he had said "I love you." He would never get the chance now. He went over to his bed, but the thought of sleep didn't appeal, instead he swiped at the pillow sending it across the room. Another movement caught his eye. An envelope had been under the pillow. He picked it up and opened it. It contained all the small two and three word notes he had ever left Tina, and one note from her.

"When my heart and flesh depart this place from a life that's sung your song

You'll still be the one I want."

T.

(Brooke Fraser's Arithmetic.)

She had known? How could she have known she was going to die today! But this sure looked like evidence that she did.

He sat heavily on the edge of the bed and dropped his head in his hands.

He would give himself tonight to grieve, but tomorrow he had to be Lt. Col. John Sheppard, Military Commander of Atlantis.

Just as when Captain Tina Rogers was alive, no one could know of their relationship!

The end. 


End file.
